ohwell.

winter holiday is coming to an end.



bummer.

:(

A very belated birthday post for myself.

my birthday was on 14th June but it took me till now to post this up.

i had a great one in school.

Cece was like my mom trying to lit the candles despite the wind and the very cold weather.

i really appreciated it.

and a big thank you for the ppl who took the trouble to sent me msgs throughout the day.

despite that.

this is my worst birthday ever.

i felt that i hit rock bottom.

do much for the big 18.

tale of a sisterhood.

in a way im very envious of the sisterhood of the travelling pants.

i wish that i have something like that to keep for myself.

its not about the jeans. but the friendship itself.

i mean how often do u find friends that had known each other all their lives but suddenly realising that they have to go on seperate ways. despite of that still makes a huge effort to be there for each other and stay connected to each other..

eventhough its the jeans that keeps them together.

in a way, im like them.

i am one of the few that have went seperate ways from my loved ones.

i am however a very sentimental person who finds leaving what i used to had a very hard thing to do.

but. unlike them. i do not have such luck to have such friends.

i do not have such friends that tries to be there for u in anyway they can.

or even makes the effort to know about the lastest happenings.

it really depresses me sometime.

i see myself keep holding on to my past but its slowly slipping away from me.

in return i find myself having nothing to fall back to.

that im on my own no matter what.

as i have absolutely no one to depend on.

i really wish.

that i have someone to fall back to. someone that i know is forever mine. someone that i know is there for me to share my everything. someone to tell me what to do when im lost. someone to love me on my most miserable days (almost everyday).

sometimes i feel that im asking too much.

or im thinking too much.

so probably this holiday. i'll be hiring the sisterhood of travelling pants 1&2 to watch.

and maybe imagining myself as one of them.

as it is the closest i can get.

does it mean anything?

i need something to knock me over now. alcohol?
something to make me stop thinking and just go to bed.

something to make me forget all this and live my life as i always would.
or something to make me gunuinely happy again.

They are BAAAACK

hallelujah!!

my twin and my love is back from NS.

happy much

:)

squash much.

just read bout the reports on Milo All Star 2008.

damn hati gatal now.

its been like 5 months+ since i played squash.
i really missed it.

i so miss my tournament days.
eventhough im not really good at it.
sigh.

i swear next term i confirm taking sqasuh as infra.
no matter ir they are coming anot.

im really sick of badminton.

Smells like chlorine..

i hate thursdays.

there's only 4 periods on thursday in school.

and we get to wear PE uniform and sneakers.

comfy much.

BUT..

i have to go swimming on thursday.

squad swimming.

which almost kills me everytime of exhaustion or shame.

why?

because among everyone im am the WORST.

and im being really serious.

its either being the slowest or lack of stamina.

everyone have been swimming for eons and i just cut in this year and made it into Gold Squad.

its kinda typical.

and my lackness of experience.

which made me look kinda stupid sometimes.

and me clumsyness.

i just dont know how to walk in flippers.

its so weird.

and i alomost trip most of the time.

for those who have no idea what a flipper is.

but this helps alot when u are swimming.

WEIRD FACTOR: after swimming. i smell like chlorine. and i LOVED it.

:)

SATURDAY!! SATURDAY!! SATURDAY!!