going away

going away for the week for school camp.

JINDABYNE!

dont worry.
i'll have fun!

:)

MORE BIRTHDAYS!!

HAPPEEE BIRTHDAYYY FERN!!!! 17/o3/08

i have to pick the ugliest picture.

HAPPEEE BIRTHDAYYY HUIQI!!!! 19/03/08

the crazy women im my life.

heeee.

how i miss the moments.

we are all nutcasers. hahahahahahaha.

I Miss my women

lol. it'll be solid 3 months till i really talk to them again.
Shiyun's off to Sabah. Peiminn off to Terengganu. or was it pahang??

no one to talk to.
no one to feed me msian gossips.
no one to buy me msian seventeen for 3 months.
!!!!!!!!!

cannot take it.

Joyce on the other is forever busy with the stuff.
cannot depend on her.


3 months.

i had a dream bout 4 of us last night.
hanging out like we used to be.

i miss u la woman!!

screw ns.

looking for alibrandi.

yes. im in love with the book so much that im even blogging bout it now.

and the teacher said that it has a movie of it and i was thrrrrriiiiilllled.
i love Jacob Coote.
i read the book in one go cuz of Jacob Coote.

but when i googled for his pic.
dissapointment.

he looked that totally opposite from what ive been playing in my head.
mascular. not.
hot. not.
sporty. not.
built. no!!! he's petite.

shit.

Cecelia's so gonna laugh at me so hard when she sees the movie.
and i've been raving bout my obssesion to her so much i regret it so badly right now.
stupid me.

even John Barton looks ugly.
why isnt there a hot character in this movie!!!!



curse curse curse.

weird habits

i dont know why but i like to stare. alot.
i like to stare at ppl and catch all the minor details like how many pimple and black heads you have. or how many moles u have on each side of ur cheek.

if u catch me staring at you, its just old habits kicking in.

i know its weird.
but i like to.

if i can freeze time and just stare at what i like.

as if.

i need more guts

who knew i was so gutless.
my heart tells to me to do it.
but i cant get my mind to.
too many what ifs.. too many consequences.
its not about getting sides.
its about making peace.

im not good with ppl either in critical situation.
i need to know how to do it.
my heart tells me that i should stop it.
my head tells me to shut up.
im confused.



i need someone to teach me how to JUST DO IT.

its empty.

the click five - empty

i dont know what to feel lately.
it's like im living out of a routine.
there's nothing that i can really feel for.
no more fresh sparks.
im just doing the same thing of what im suppose to everyday.

i get up in the morning wishing its the end of the day and i can go back to my lala-land.
pretty weird that i keep seeing friends family and all the stuff that i was used to but in a weird senario. still. its better than nothing. i feel like im living with content again in dream. such irony.

i keep hoping that i can control time during rollcall. if only i can go home immediately.
its not that i dont enjoy school. but everything to me is such a dread. somehow i doubt myself sometimes. i doubt my decisions. i need my wit back. i need my spontanity back. all i want to do is to fit in and find that heart to heart friend that i can really relate to.

i couldnt bring myself to do anything. i still have heaps of homework to do. i just couldnt be bothered at all. i screwed up physics topic test. my blocked nasal is bothering me so much. my sore back is killing me. my head is so blank that all i can do is stare. i couldnt even bring myself to laugh whole-heartedly. my head's a mess. i need someone to give me a push. all i want to do now is curl up in one corner and cry my heart out till im dry of tears.

shit.

you seriously fucked up my life.
every minute i've been checking my phone for a call or a text.
and i have been doing that for days.
i kept on waiting.
i couldnt even sleep properly because i hope you'll call during midnight like that day and making sure i can feel the vibration if something comes in.
i kept waking up in the middle of my sleep couples to make sure i didnt miss anything.
but i was still nothing.
it really raged the hell out of me when u were having the time of your life when i was waiting desperately for u to call.
i was actually afraid that everyone was moving on and im still left behind gripping tightly on where i am. i dont want that. that isnt me. at all. i need to let go.
u are leaving to soon and i really hope we can talk every minute till that day.
but you shown me that they are more important and u couldnt be bothered at all.
this blow out reminds me what this is all about.
it always had been the same thing that triggers the blowout isnt it. it ALWAYS had been the same. we never have any problems before this.

i guess its a sign.
a sign that things should have their endings.
a sigh that its time for a close chapter and move on.
a sign that its time for letting go.

i got my cue.
im not going to do anything anymore.
im gonna stop.

im gonna be a new me.
by all means.

mind you??

i just hate it when ppl talk to be with a horrible breath.
i mean dont u notice it yourself.
such a turnoff.

and i dont get how ppl can survive on bad breath.
seriously.

get some mints. u can have some from me.
or get a toothbrush with TOOTHPASTE.

how do u tell ppl NICELY that they have bad breath anyway?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNE!!!

JOANNE!

18 candles this year lol.

LEGAL :)

how are u celebrating today anyway?

havent heard much bout that.

ohwell.

by the time that i'll be back.

It's a booze date for us.

Promise.

this reminds me how much i miss our school years.

p/s: sorry had to steal your picture.