walking on sunshine

counting down 7,6,5,4..

2009-11-20T15:49:00.000-08:00

one more week.

just so so tired these days.

ankle hurts from all the walking at shopping malls.

my imagination has been running a bit wild lately.

its keeps running and running,

all the stuff i HAVE to do when im back home.

home.

felt kinda sad yeterday when i was sorting my stuff out. school stuff mainly.

flipping through the papers. im finally done with all these stuff.

i can wipe them clean from my head cuz i dont have to kno them anymore.

with all the papers in my hand. so this is what i have been working on for the past 2 years

Break a twig and smile

2009-11-15T03:26:00.000-08:00

omgosh!!!

its all over.

i shall resume to moi blogging habits.

stinkin bored.

we shall see each other in msia in 13 days.

love love

i cant breath

2009-05-29T04:24:00.000-07:00

I swear i will never break another school rule as long as i can.

it really clashes with my 'good student' reputation.

REALLY into Jap stuff lately.
the scarily long but VERY bling nails.
and the lashes and the makeup.
popteen anyone??

drilling holes into my heart.

3 more months.
im gonna forget EVERYTHING and just freakin study.

pizza pies and holding hands

2009-04-18T21:46:00.000-07:00

why cant you just stop thinking about it and follow your heart??

because he broke my heart.

random thoughts

2009-04-01T02:51:00.000-07:00

ive been surviving on 4 hours sleep per day for the last few days.
its not funny anymore.

i would love of sit in front of the tv and catch up on ALL the series that ive been missing since being down under. and not sitting in my desk, facing the ever grueling modern history.

i would love to lie on the beach, under the sun.
and bake all my problems away with a new tan.

i need to go to the bathroom rite now.
just because i really need to.

love.

Valentines. hmmm.

2009-02-14T21:59:00.000-08:00

im thinking soon i'll be one of those grouchy ppl that think valentine's is the time that people rip you off, a total waste of time and a total waste of heartache.

is it wrong to think of someone that you shouldnt have.
eventhough those memories was vague

* * *

busy busy busy.

my aim this year
UAI: 90++.

therefore i shall spent a huge chunk of my life into studying and not to think of anything else.
hahh. as if.

i vow to finish all my homework and assessments ON TIME.
i vow to study for every freakin assesments and yearlies before hand and NOT CRAM ON THE VERY LAST MINUTE.
i vow to be a responsible student.

i vow to keep my promise as above.

you be the prince and i'll be the princes

2009-02-12T02:37:00.000-08:00

im cold.
please hold me tight in your arms.

SMILE

2009-01-09T19:54:00.000-08:00

if we were to be given a second chance.

I love u ppl

2009-01-06T08:09:00.000-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR FRM US ALL

2008-12-31T19:38:00.000-08:00

Cousin Bousin

2008-12-26T20:12:00.000-08:00

zap change

2008-12-20T20:21:00.000-08:00

i think i need a new skin.

Twilight

2008-12-20T20:18:00.000-08:00

"I dont have the strength to stay from you anymore."

"then dont."

purple pair of goggles.

2008-12-20T20:02:00.000-08:00

Twilight, Bolt and Yes, Man are off my list.
they were okay.

To be honest, i dont mind watching Twilight again but it just doesnt do it for me.
it was rather bland.
it was lacking the feel of excitement or the things that make ur blood rush.
i had high expectation for Twilight, since i luv the book so so much.

Bolt was okay.
it was cute and stuff like that.

Yes, Man was a good one.
it really did humoured me throught out the movie.
Jim Carrey fail proof fuunneh antics.

+++

off to KL today.

major shopping spree soon!!

ive got my rock moves

2008-12-17T21:08:00.000-08:00

the weather is killing me.
why is it so humid.
i wished it was winter again.

need a new haircut.
its been a year since i last had one.
my fair is failing me due to the humid.
forgot to get a adapter for my hair straightener.
god. how should i cut my hair this time.

ive got the nokia7310 supernova in pink!
luv luv it.

shiyun is off to taman negara today.
we were so desperate the make up some time to talk to each other and last night i was basically half asleep in the end.
i babbled alot.
it was funny.

disturbia.

2008-12-17T18:53:00.000-08:00

the flight was definitely the worst i had so far.
i took Jetstar from Sydney to Darwin then have another transit to Singapore.

the Sydney-Darwin was easy without a glinch.
and then comes the one to singapore.
i tot i had time so i lingered to one hour before my flight to check in.

i went to the counter and checked in.
the lady said i cant.
they cant take anymore passengers due to bad weather.
i was this close of cursing out loud.
she gave me the fright of my life.
i tot my flight left without me and i will be stuck in Darwin for the day.
and not getting to singapore on time.

it took them half an hour to figure it out and put me on another flight to sg.
i was practically running in the airport to get to my plane on time.

then i was on the plane and it went fine afer that.
i plugged onto my ipod for the next 2 hours.
not noticing the annoucements. again.
she told me to switch off my ipod.
and the person next to me asked
"Why are we TURINING BACK to Darwin??"

i was litterally cursing under my breath again.
why on earth are we turning back again when we already left Darwin for 3 hours??
"cuz the ground staff forgot to give us the papers."
wtf.

so we turned back.
after all the dramas i arrived at singapore at 2am!
when my flight was scheduled to arrive at 9pm!

seriously.
im going to avoid transit flight at all cost after this.

when one day you wake up

2008-12-12T02:03:00.000-08:00

4 more days!!!

1 more day for school.
1 last day for chinese school.

play my music all night long

2008-12-03T02:12:00.000-08:00

When 13 is such a big number

less than 2 weeks!!!!!!

crossing out the days

2008-11-29T04:34:00.000-08:00

17 days!!!

*gasp*

Tagged by PM

2008-11-29T02:28:00.000-08:00

1.What's your most favourite colour?
lol. this changes from time to time. right now its electric blue

2. What is the most important to you?
i dont know yet.

3. How often do you think of committing suicide?
never tought about it before.

4. Do you think you have enough confidence?
depends. if im comforatble with the crowd

5. How many babies you want?
currently. none

6. Do you believe in seeing a rainbow after the rain?

yes. cuz i've seen one before

7. What is your goal for this year?
to go home. and spend all my summer holidays there.

8. Do you believe in eternity love?
i used to. until now.

9. do you think tat the person who tag you,like to play kipnapin
???

10.What are you really afraid of?
birds. chicken. ducks.
technically anything that has a beak, claws and can fly.

11.What is your bad habit?
where do i start.
i simply have to many.

12. What's your opinion with Distance relationship?
it sounds sweet but it actually is not.

13. Do you cherish every single friendship of yours?
yes. i love my frens

14. What does flying means to you?
to be free. and maybe gone to heaven.

15. What do you crave for the most currently?
seafood. i'll have anything pls.

16. Are you single/relationship?
pathetically single.

17. When did you lost your virginity?
im still a happy nun.

18.What have you done to yourself make yourself happy?
lotsa stuff. i love saturdays mostly.

19. What is the worst case scenario happen to you in your life?
my 18th bday is the worst. to date.

20.What do you wish for your birthday present?
DS lite. and mobile phones. laptops.

instructions: Remove one question from above and add in your personal question. Make a total of 20 questions and tag 5 people. List them out at the end of the post.Notify them in their cbox that they've been tagged. Whoever does the tag will have blessings from

all.***********************************************

Tag:

Joanne Lim

Tung Tung

Keng Onn

Yee Shuian

Bee Kee

printing hearts

2008-11-24T02:45:00.000-08:00

22 days left ppl.

blue is an understatement

2008-11-16T01:33:00.000-08:00

30 days left!!!!

thats like less than a month!!

!&^$##!$#%%@!^&$$

Fading Away.

2008-11-08T22:54:00.000-08:00

"Just give me a minute to restart my heart"

what is my expectation toward "it"??
week after week of anticipating and waiting.
week after week of dissappointment.

now it goes to a point where im sick of it now.
i want MORE.

is that too much to ask??

37 days more.

If I just lay here

2008-10-25T21:12:00.000-07:00

55 days to go ppl!!

u make me so hot!

2008-09-28T04:30:00.000-07:00

holidays!
spring. i feel like adding new stuff to my already very pathetic existing wardrobe.
its sad.

hiaz.
gold sandals. floral blouse. strappy heels. linen shirts. huge bags.

i need money la!!

going to the beach soon. i guess.

photography is interesting.
but im lazy.

count down still

2008-09-21T04:22:00.000-07:00

86 days still.

went to the city last night.
it was so good that its overwhelming.
loved it.

kinda pathetic that til today only that i went to the city.
ohwell.
wished i have pictures to show.

:)

no i wont break down

2008-09-14T21:14:00.000-07:00

counting down the days till i get home.
so far 94 days left.

what life is about.

BIG exams coming in 2 weeks.

2008-08-23T22:43:00.000-07:00

sigh.

not much update then.
*busy* with books lately.
and business plan.

somehow i suspect hours in a day is not enough.

ANOUNCEMENT!!

2008-08-23T22:38:00.000-07:00

Mark your Calenders babeh!!

IM GOING HOME ON THE 16th OF DECEMBER!!

woohoo!!
and i got to skip the last week of school!!

MTV Asia Awards!!

2008-08-01T23:48:00.000-07:00

why the hell when im here and they've decided to hold MTV asia awards in Msia!!!
i cant believe that im missing it.
curse curse curse!!

i cant believe im missing that!!
and daughtry as well.
i mean i can literally walk to catch Daughtry live if i wanted to.

uurrgghhh!!!

HAPPIE BIRTHDAY SOOSHI!!

2008-07-30T02:56:00.000-07:00

31.07.08

happy birthday my sooshi!!!
gonna post a panjang lebar entry soon.

ohwell.

2008-07-21T03:56:00.000-07:00

winter holiday is coming to an end.

bummer.

:(

A very belated birthday post for myself.

2008-07-10T04:19:00.000-07:00

my birthday was on 14th June but it took me till now to post this up.

i had a great one in school.

Cece was like my mom trying to lit the candles despite the wind and the very cold weather.

i really appreciated it.

and a big thank you for the ppl who took the trouble to sent me msgs throughout the day.

despite that.

this is my worst birthday ever.

i felt that i hit rock bottom.

do much for the big 18.

tale of a sisterhood.

2008-07-10T03:13:00.000-07:00

in a way im very envious of the sisterhood of the travelling pants.

i wish that i have something like that to keep for myself.

its not about the jeans. but the friendship itself.

i mean how often do u find friends that had known each other all their lives but suddenly realising that they have to go on seperate ways. despite of that still makes a huge effort to be there for each other and stay connected to each other..

eventhough its the jeans that keeps them together.

in a way, im like them.

i am one of the few that have went seperate ways from my loved ones.

i am however a very sentimental person who finds leaving what i used to had a very hard thing to do.

but. unlike them. i do not have such luck to have such friends.

i do not have such friends that tries to be there for u in anyway they can.

or even makes the effort to know about the lastest happenings.

it really depresses me sometime.

i see myself keep holding on to my past but its slowly slipping away from me.

in return i find myself having nothing to fall back to.

that im on my own no matter what.

as i have absolutely no one to depend on.

i really wish.

that i have someone to fall back to. someone that i know is forever mine. someone that i know is there for me to share my everything. someone to tell me what to do when im lost. someone to love me on my most miserable days (almost everyday).

sometimes i feel that im asking too much.

or im thinking too much.

so probably this holiday. i'll be hiring the sisterhood of travelling pants 1&2 to watch.

and maybe imagining myself as one of them.

as it is the closest i can get.

does it mean anything?

2008-06-28T00:20:00.000-07:00

i need something to knock me over now. alcohol?
something to make me stop thinking and just go to bed.

something to make me forget all this and live my life as i always would.
or something to make me gunuinely happy again.

They are BAAAACK

2008-06-07T05:58:00.000-07:00

hallelujah!!

my twin and my love is back from NS.

happy much

:)

squash much.

2008-06-07T05:42:00.000-07:00

just read bout the reports on Milo All Star 2008.

damn hati gatal now.

its been like 5 months+ since i played squash.
i really missed it.

i so miss my tournament days.
eventhough im not really good at it.
sigh.

i swear next term i confirm taking sqasuh as infra.
no matter ir they are coming anot.

im really sick of badminton.

Smells like chlorine..

2008-06-04T04:26:00.000-07:00

i hate thursdays.

there's only 4 periods on thursday in school.

and we get to wear PE uniform and sneakers.

comfy much.

BUT..

i have to go swimming on thursday.

squad swimming.

which almost kills me everytime of exhaustion or shame.

why?

because among everyone im am the WORST.

and im being really serious.

its either being the slowest or lack of stamina.

everyone have been swimming for eons and i just cut in this year and made it into Gold Squad.

its kinda typical.

and my lackness of experience.

which made me look kinda stupid sometimes.

and me clumsyness.

i just dont know how to walk in flippers.

its so weird.

and i alomost trip most of the time.

for those who have no idea what a flipper is.

but this helps alot when u are swimming.

WEIRD FACTOR: after swimming. i smell like chlorine. and i LOVED it.

SATURDAY!! SATURDAY!! SATURDAY!!

how true.

2008-05-30T16:39:00.000-07:00

“Missing you gets easier everyday even know it's one day longer since the last time i saw you it's one day closer to the next time i will.”

-Peyton Sawyer-

counting the days.

2008-05-24T23:02:00.000-07:00

13 days to go.

till i see him again.

*swoon*

what a life.

2008-05-24T18:45:00.000-07:00

im really missing shiyun and peiminn.

its been so so long since i really spoke to them.

havent spoke to peiminn for 3months.

whereas just text shiyun in ns on weekends.

which is not alot compared to what we used to do.

and they are coming back in 2 WEEKS!!

not that i get to see them la.

but at least i get to talk to them then.

you have no idea what its like to lose your lifeline for three months. literally.

urghhh!

i miss the whole season of american idol.
INCLUDING the double DAVID FINALE.

yes. i have no idea whose David Cook (eventhough i know he won) thats everyone is raving about.

i have absolutely no idea of the contestants as well.

grr. sial.

remember Anthony from previous previous season.

no idol fever this year.

Austalians are so into their own stuff.

they only show their soaps and other programmes.

which is quite a bore if u ask me.

like Dance!.

thank god there's still abit of shows that i used to watch.

desperate housewife. CSI. Ugly Betty. Grey's anatomy.

i wonder what happened to HEROES? new season coming?

i guess it would be the same if i was in the US or England.

they all have their own shows too. only better.
like the stuff that we used to watch.

lol. i miss my cable at home.

i know ive been saying this for almost a million times but i cant help it.

i really miss E!

i used to be addicted to E!

even the reality seeries in E!

i miss Ryan Seacrest and Gulianna Rancic.

i miss the Daily Ten.

i miss watching Kimora Lee Simmons. i absolutely heart her.

i miss Keeping up with the Kardashians.

i miss watching Forbes countdown.

i miss Starworld too.

i wonder what happened to beyond the break.

i was in the middle of OC reruns when i came.

and HEROES. remember that 2days straight marathon?

i wonder what happened to One Tree Hill.

and the Hills.

bloogy.

i miss my TV!!!!!!

Broken

2008-05-16T05:16:00.000-07:00

i've lost a friend today.

i havent been in this situation for years.
i doubt it if its worth while.

i experience the pain.
and it hurts.

i know im a jerk sometimes.
but you could be when you're in my shoes.

i guess its another soppy emo song day till i fall asleep.

Jinday post below.

2008-05-14T04:36:00.001-07:00

btw.
i finally post the camp post.
just scroll down.

angst much?

2008-05-14T04:32:00.000-07:00

just finished my exams.
and i wanted to use the net so badly on monday that it was ALL occupied that i got so angst.
i wanted to smash something so badly and my hands are constantly in a fist.
i dont lose my temper easily.
but that day i almost did.
i was so fucked up inside out..
its like fighting a drug or alcohol addiction.

i swear to god if my mom's not getting me a laptop soon i will definitely lose it.

:(

2008-05-05T23:58:00.000-07:00

resentment. hatred. betrayal.
disgust. anxiety. detest.
revulsion. loath. deluded.
sickening. bitter.

thanks a lot.

IM IN LURVE!!

2008-04-28T17:54:00.000-07:00

all over again

:)

I NEED HELP!!

2008-04-15T05:51:00.000-07:00

can anyone tell me who can be nice enough to post me burned cds of the latest songs/tunes/hits/whatever??

im gettin sick of my ipod content and im craving for something new.
i would have did it myself if my circumstances allow me so.

lemme know if u could and i might treat u a meal when i get back home.
:)

missing out.

2008-04-15T05:07:00.000-07:00

friday nights are movie nights.
movies here on tv is pretty great.
judging on what we used to have on national tv back home.
everytime i was estatic to watch something, there's always someone who ask
"havent u watch that before?? "

lol.
have i miss out THAT much?
i know right now that im missing out on TONNES of movies that i really want to watch.
and i mean TONNES.
i was thinking of making a list of movies that i miss and make a point to watch them.
and i seriously meant that.

i wonder what im still missing out.
definitely E! i miss that. *no cable here*
and american idol. i totally miss the whole session.
the daily dose of gossips. (E!)
taiwanese dramas. someone tells me whats new pls!! totally clueless.
asian gossips. i have absolutely no idea. cept for the edison and gillian thing cuz it was on msn daily.
my starworld shows. GOD im so missing out.
asian music. mind u! eventhough i dont really listen to it i do make an effort to learn whats new!
books.

i can really go on and on.
its as if im really living on mars.

That's New.

2008-04-14T01:17:00.000-07:00

term break.
2 weeks.
hardcore studying.
gonna ace that damned exam.
fugly physics.

and i start today.

Jindabyne post up soon!!

Jinday!!

2008-04-12T18:08:00.000-07:00

Jindabyne was really fun.
those ppl who chose to stay in school, u missed out.

it took us 6hours+ to get there.
had a stop at some town to get lunch and toilet breaks.
these ppl decided that the slide was fun!!

i got in groupB.
we are the first group to go on Mt Kociousco. which is the very next day we got there.

fun~

-day 1-

Mt Kicousko.

ppl there told us its gonna be freezing cold and u have to have at LEAST 4 layers of clothes on. i had a skivvy, a wool turtle neck, a jumper and a parka on. it was shit hot.erica and sally. we even have gloves and scarves and beanies.melie. erica.jessie (its not even that cold yet). erica.jessie. erica. me. cece.

u need to get on a chairlift to get u on the mountain before climbing. this is not fun at all as i was scared to shits that i would fall for my life. Jessie'a sreaming away didnt help either. only sally and melie was snappin photos away.it was worst when u are going down. leftover snows. the last group was lucky. they got to see snows. the whole mountain got covered up. its amazing how it changes overnight.damn semangat. they got so hot out there that i have to strip out my jumper and stuff it in my back pack. btw. to those that i have mentioned. thats shantung po.dont even ask. i sprained my ankle (yes again) on my way up. and i managed to still get to the top despite being the last few. i was so in pain and pissed off that melie keep askin me to pose for her and so i did. i was in pain!! dont question my sanity watsoever. i would never do that again. ever. in my life. annie. melie. me(in pain).

it took us like 6hours to finish the whole thing. yep. i was in pain the whole time as that stupid fella told me to keep on walking on it. for ur info, the whole journey was approx 14km. plus walking up the mountain all the way on the first half. we reached the top and had lunch at the peak. and we were the only group to finish the whole journey and reach the top! :P

my ankle was gigantic when i got back and i have to elevate it and put it on ice that i missed my dinner session (there were 2 and mine's the earlier one!). MJ(roomate) was practically screaming at me for still walking on my ankle and making it worst. Jessai+Bec+D(roomate) told me that i basically deserve an award to finish the journey. The teachers scared the shits out of me when they told me i have to go on crutches to the dining hall for dinner. Thanked God the crutches didnt fit me and they allowed me to walk on my 2 feet. so embarassing to walk on crutches and to let EVERYONE sees it.

-day 3&4-

highlights: Disco Night. + Jinday Market

group pic.

melie(shantung) siad something that i couldnt start to laugh my head of. i tried to control it but i just burst out laughing. Jindybucks much!!
we were so so rich that we threw bucks into the bin!!

facepaint. jinday market. kinda interesting.
but turned boring in the end.

there's a store run by the koreans that delivers "secret love notes".

guess who got the most. :)
tak boleh tahan.

this is so mean. i know we are kinda making fun of her but we just cant help it.

she just "spiced up" of camp lives.

u have no idea that how much she made all of us laugh.

i can still laugh thinking of it.

its kinda sad to leave~

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CECE!!

2008-04-06T23:57:00.000-07:00

07/04/08

going away

2008-03-29T04:33:00.000-07:00

going away for the week for school camp.

JINDABYNE!

dont worry.
i'll have fun!

:)

MORE BIRTHDAYS!!

2008-03-21T00:08:00.000-07:00

HAPPEEE BIRTHDAYYY FERN!!!! 17/o3/08

i have to pick the ugliest picture.

HAPPEEE BIRTHDAYYY HUIQI!!!! 19/03/08

the crazy women im my life.

heeee.

how i miss the moments.

we are all nutcasers. hahahahahahaha.

I Miss my women

2008-03-20T23:54:00.000-07:00

lol. it'll be solid 3 months till i really talk to them again.
Shiyun's off to Sabah. Peiminn off to Terengganu. or was it pahang??

no one to talk to.
no one to feed me msian gossips.
no one to buy me msian seventeen for 3 months.
!!!!!!!!!

cannot take it.

Joyce on the other is forever busy with the stuff.
cannot depend on her.

3 months.

i had a dream bout 4 of us last night.
hanging out like we used to be.

i miss u la woman!!

screw ns.

looking for alibrandi.

2008-03-20T23:36:00.000-07:00

yes. im in love with the book so much that im even blogging bout it now.

and the teacher said that it has a movie of it and i was thrrrrriiiiilllled.
i love Jacob Coote.
i read the book in one go cuz of Jacob Coote.

but when i googled for his pic.
dissapointment.

he looked that totally opposite from what ive been playing in my head.
mascular. not.
hot. not.
sporty. not.
built. no!!! he's petite.

shit.

Cecelia's so gonna laugh at me so hard when she sees the movie.
and i've been raving bout my obssesion to her so much i regret it so badly right now.
stupid me.

even John Barton looks ugly.
why isnt there a hot character in this movie!!!!

curse curse curse.

weird habits

2008-03-20T23:25:00.000-07:00

i dont know why but i like to stare. alot.
i like to stare at ppl and catch all the minor details like how many pimple and black heads you have. or how many moles u have on each side of ur cheek.

if u catch me staring at you, its just old habits kicking in.

i know its weird.
but i like to.

if i can freeze time and just stare at what i like.

as if.

i need more guts

2008-03-17T03:19:00.000-07:00

who knew i was so gutless.
my heart tells to me to do it.
but i cant get my mind to.
too many what ifs.. too many consequences.
its not about getting sides.
its about making peace.

im not good with ppl either in critical situation.
i need to know how to do it.
my heart tells me that i should stop it.
my head tells me to shut up.
im confused.

i need someone to teach me how to JUST DO IT.

its empty.

2008-03-15T19:05:00.000-07:00

the click five - empty

i dont know what to feel lately.
it's like im living out of a routine.
there's nothing that i can really feel for.
no more fresh sparks.
im just doing the same thing of what im suppose to everyday.

i get up in the morning wishing its the end of the day and i can go back to my lala-land.
pretty weird that i keep seeing friends family and all the stuff that i was used to but in a weird senario. still. its better than nothing. i feel like im living with content again in dream. such irony.

i keep hoping that i can control time during rollcall. if only i can go home immediately.
its not that i dont enjoy school. but everything to me is such a dread. somehow i doubt myself sometimes. i doubt my decisions. i need my wit back. i need my spontanity back. all i want to do is to fit in and find that heart to heart friend that i can really relate to.

i couldnt bring myself to do anything. i still have heaps of homework to do. i just couldnt be bothered at all. i screwed up physics topic test. my blocked nasal is bothering me so much. my sore back is killing me. my head is so blank that all i can do is stare. i couldnt even bring myself to laugh whole-heartedly. my head's a mess. i need someone to give me a push. all i want to do now is curl up in one corner and cry my heart out till im dry of tears.

shit.

you seriously fucked up my life.
every minute i've been checking my phone for a call or a text.
and i have been doing that for days.
i kept on waiting.
i couldnt even sleep properly because i hope you'll call during midnight like that day and making sure i can feel the vibration if something comes in.
i kept waking up in the middle of my sleep couples to make sure i didnt miss anything.
but i was still nothing.
it really raged the hell out of me when u were having the time of your life when i was waiting desperately for u to call.
i was actually afraid that everyone was moving on and im still left behind gripping tightly on where i am. i dont want that. that isnt me. at all. i need to let go.
u are leaving to soon and i really hope we can talk every minute till that day.
but you shown me that they are more important and u couldnt be bothered at all.
this blow out reminds me what this is all about.
it always had been the same thing that triggers the blowout isnt it. it ALWAYS had been the same. we never have any problems before this.

i guess its a sign.
a sign that things should have their endings.
a sigh that its time for a close chapter and move on.
a sign that its time for letting go.

i got my cue.
im not going to do anything anymore.
im gonna stop.

im gonna be a new me.
by all means.

mind you??

2008-03-08T22:41:00.000-08:00

i just hate it when ppl talk to be with a horrible breath.
i mean dont u notice it yourself.
such a turnoff.

and i dont get how ppl can survive on bad breath.
seriously.

get some mints. u can have some from me.
or get a toothbrush with TOOTHPASTE.

how do u tell ppl NICELY that they have bad breath anyway?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNE!!!

2008-03-08T22:31:00.000-08:00

JOANNE!

18 candles this year lol.

LEGAL :)

how are u celebrating today anyway?

havent heard much bout that.

ohwell.

by the time that i'll be back.

It's a booze date for us.

Promise.

this reminds me how much i miss our school years.

p/s: sorry had to steal your picture.

have you ever?

2008-02-27T22:06:00.000-08:00

Have you ever loved somebody so much
It makes you cry
Have you ever needed something so bad
You can't sleep at night
Have you ever tried to find the words
But they don't come out right
Have you ever, have you ever

Have you ever been in love
Been in love so bad
You'd do anything to make them understand
Have you ever had someone steal your heart away
You'd give anything to make them feel the same
Have you ever searched for words to get you in their heart
But you don't know what to say
And you don't know where to start

Have you ever found the one
You've dreamed of all of your life
You'd do just about anything to look into their eyes
Have you finally found the one you've given your heart to
Only to find that one won't give their heart to you
Have you ever closed your eyes and
Dreamed that they were there
And all you can do is wait for the day when they will care

What do I gotta do to get you in my arms baby
What do I gotta say to get to your heart
To make you understand how I need you next to me
Gotta get you into my world'
Cuz baby I can't sleep

flies

2008-02-27T21:41:00.000-08:00

tomorrow's the last day of summer.
how fast.
its getting cold lately.

i miss everything back home.

i miss u all peeps.

i miss.

you.

too.

In the memories of.

2008-02-27T19:48:00.000-08:00

my grandmother.

22/02/08

i always thought this particular day will not come.
never did.

suddenly news came crashing on me.
in exactly one month after i left home.
i got a call from aunt bo when she was on her way back to m'sia.
when i was so happily watching bridget jones on tv.

"your grandmother had passed on. we're too late."

imagine my face at that moment.
i called home to confirm. wishing someone to tell me that its not true.
guess not.
i can hear the sobs from behind.
dad tried his best to tell me that its okay.
yea. but my head was thick then that nothing was able to get in.
i had too much to handle on one night.

somehow its for the best.
she had put up a long and hard fight for 4 years due to cancer.
its time for her to have a break.
its time for her to have her rest.
its time for her to leave everything burden and pain behind to enjoy the after life.

its time for me to let go.

suddenly thought hit me that i wouldnt see her in the flesh anymore.
i cant see her. alive.
memories starting to flood in my head.
one by one.

the last one was on the day i left.
on the day itself.

"i wont be seeing you anymore i guess. i dont think i'll live that long"

i never believed one bit of it.
never.

it hurts me so much for her to be right about this.
it never occured me at all.
i always thought that at least one more time. i see her for one last time.
she'll wait till im home again.
i guess she just made a step sooner that i thought.

and my parents said i wouldnt made much a difference even if im back there and i cannot afford to miss school.
it bugs me so much that i'll miss this and miss the funeral.
but then. i agreed.

that night i cried myself to sleep with the brown scarf that she knitted for me.
and my camera in my hand with the last picture we took together.
hoping to feel that u are there with me again.
hoping that i'll see you for the last time in my dreams.
hoping to say the last goodbyes.

life goes on.
the very next day i went to chinese school like every saturday.
trying to get the rhythm of my life back.
trying to get some distractions.
i guess it didnt really work cuz i broke down in class.

after chinese school uncle alan told me to pack up.
they decided to let me go back after all.
there's a bit of joy in me.
i get to go back to what im once familiar with.
i get to see her again.
but on different circumstances.
i get to do my very last bit in her journey of her life.

everything was in such a rush that it doesnt seemed real.
it doesnt feel real even till now.

i went back and paid my last respect.
i went back to what im once familiar with.
but the difference was you are not there to be with me now.
i even hope that u'll open ur eyes and wave and me again.
even u're lying peacefully in your coffin.

that day during prayers u came back.
u came back to see us. as a butterfly.
im glad u did.
as least i know how u are doing right now.
i know that part of u still exist.

the last day of the funeral.
the very last chance for me to see you again.
the very last chance for me to feel your existance.
the very minute that u were in there burning hurts me again.
to know that u are not here anymore
to remind me that theres nothing of you left behind anymore.
even the toughest grandchild that u have all broke into tears.
because we all know that thats the very last that we'll see of you.

i know that i wont forget you.
i hope that u wont forget me too.
i know i'll still love sushi because i know u do too.
because i know the sight of sushi reminds me of u.

my 3 days trip back to msia was an impromtu one.
but its worth every penny.

im now back here making a mark about it.
so soon that i dont believe for myself.
and hoping my memories wont fade as days come by.

and having another closed chapter in my life.

5 minutes to midnight

2008-02-19T22:16:00.000-08:00

i need a third hand and extra hours on each day.

there's so much to do.

i have.
bout 100 math sums due friday.
chem hw due friday.
physic exercise due friday.
business report due friday.
to study for math for the test on friday.
prepare for english speak task in less than a week.
business assessment in less than 2 weeks.
finish up my modern history essay in 2 weeks.
to study up physics for test next week.

gee. i need help.
lots of them.

been really busy these days. :)

AH-MUSE-ING

2008-02-17T22:08:00.000-08:00

i miss that feeling alot.
so much that it bugs me.

i've been feeling really weird lately that im even freaking myself out.
lol.

i seem to have lost my concentration somehow.
even the silliest things will get me distracted.

when im in class trying very hard to listen and suck in what they are saying
my mind seem to be able to find a way and drift away.

cept for modern history.
which i cannot afford not to listen cuz the teacher always seem to be screaming his head off.
asking questions again and again.
which reminds me of Pn Loo CC.
i wonder how is she doing now.

The problem is ME

2008-02-15T20:58:00.000-08:00

havent done much lately.
school's been the same.

sigh. i miss watching tv at home.
its been so so long since i just sit there and and watch the whole day.
yep. i miss oc. E!. beyond the break and ARRGHH i just want my TVEE!!!!
not HAPPEEE.
there's just so much that i want to watch.

did i mention that i havent had a taste of mcD since im here.
its been how long?? a month i guess. woah. even im suprise.

there's always homeworks everyday.
and A LOT of it.

gee. i just miss you ppl a lot.

its amazing how we lost ourselves tonight.

2008-02-14T02:42:00.000-08:00

valentines.

sigh.

u get the picture.

CNY much??

2008-02-06T23:29:00.000-08:00

i doesnt feel like anything here.
its like everyday come and go.
yeap. i didnt know until yday. or was it the day before?
ohwell.
ppl seemed so happy back in msia.
called back twice.
yes im good.

geeez. im so JEALOUS.

i wanna join in tooo!!!

anyways. HAPPY CNY EVERYONE!!

aged old snaps

2008-02-01T00:40:00.000-08:00

might as well put up the pics i took back home.dinner at delicious. it was alright.wedges. lovess. too much of a good thingpersonal fav. C-A-L-A-M-A-R-I i would generally pick anything that has crab or crab meat. was so so thrilled when there's something that has crab is on the menu. jakun. the crab was just a small handful i guess. not satisfying. but it taste alright. very appetising. i shall have a feast of crab when im back home soon. who's with me?she stayed for the night. help me pack. which took us the whole night. imagine the stuff. we're foolin around alot too i guess. they came to the airport. sniff. im touchedfamily shot.

had dimsum with me cousin in castle tower. look at my little niece. i gawked when i saw her.

sooooo cute. so dollish. very petite. her head is as big as melinda's head. i guess she's as heavy too. lol.

and a little peak at my school. went a day earlier to settle some stuff.

mom was like "how to take picture like u all young ppl. the one that u take pictures of youselves?" 8)where im living at the moment.

i miss you la friend!

it will be long.

2008-02-01T00:29:00.000-08:00

the boys will be back late today from Hamilton Island.
yer. that means i might not blog for another hundred years.
till i get my laptop baby i guess.

sheesh. there's no point ranting bout school everyday i guess.
maybe just hope the best soon.
really do.

work is really piling up.
yep. just day3 and my school diary is filled with due dates and homework and assignments. starting to feel the difficulties in school now. i'll have to work harder i guess. i must ace it like the boys did >.< . lol. they are straight As -ers.

ohwell. wonder how things are going on back home.
hmmmm..

keep keep bleeding in love.

keep bleeding in love

2008-02-01T00:27:00.001-08:00

got stuck with this one.
leona's really good.
her voice is all sultry and sexy.
weee~

i dont care what they say. im in love with you.

i have a hot math teacher!!!

2008-01-30T22:22:00.000-08:00

wooo!!!!
lol.

turned out that CTHS have no squash for girls as GRADES. booo!!

missed the bus for handball.
joined the gals for volleyball.

did nothing but stare.
nah. did some homework.

modern history is horrible.
the teacher was scary. keep shooting questions with that loud tone of his.
what was that about.
and the class has no girls. seriously.
just me and some other few.
so gonna swap classes.
brrrr.

im seeing red.

2008-01-29T21:38:00.000-08:00

schools alright.
it weird that everyone already knows each other but im there alone.
i much rather be back in my school.
lol. yun now i really wish that u were u here with me.

classes are alright.
much different back home. but i think i'll adapt well.
if i put in the effort.
its only day 1 and i have much homework to begin with.
sports tryouts tmr. sheesh. they dont have squash for girls as grade sport.
and i pick handball. pretty random aint it?
despite being hit right on my nose the last time i tried. well it should be good.
im not the type of girl that wail if a ball is thrown at you. so guess the agressiveness should be alright to handle.

i really wish i could have some friends.
i do have aquaintences but i dont even know their names.
they are asian too and they are as new as me.
guess its to much to ask on a first day.

been running round the school all day.
kinda got lost all the time and didnt know where my classes are.
but the ppl there are a big help.

stop and stare.

2008-01-28T20:59:00.000-08:00

its pretty catchy.
kinda runs in your head after listening to it for a while.
actually we should do that once a while.

where is everyone!!

2008-01-27T22:41:00.001-08:00

its so difficult to talk to ppl nowdays.
no one is ever online!! :(
the time difference is so annoying. its three hours faster here.
so i cant actually stay up late so catch everyone during the peak hours.
it'll be like 2 or 3am for me.
arhhhhh. go online earlier ppl!!!

its been typically the same for me everyday.
well almost at least.
stocking up groceries during noon. out for lunch then stay back in for dinner.
its quite a bore to be honest. i'll been going in and out of castle tower every single day.
had latte earlier. i few sick.

i need some excitement!!! lol.
school's starting in 2 days.
very nervous.
i need a job too.
Hire me TARGET!!
staff discount can be so sweet.

farewell snaps

2008-01-26T23:04:00.000-08:00

some of the all.
left the rest at home. sheesh.
should have upload the whole thing which i thought i did.

hitting shuttles

2008-01-26T02:26:00.000-08:00

did i mention i tried badminton now.
have to. my aunt's family are into badminton every saturday noon.
i feel so useless for the first time in a racquet game.
it has always been squash.
now there's something new in the picture.
ohwell.

on the brightside. there's cute guys playing basketball and skateboard nearby.
makes it up i guess. *smirk*

starting new.

2008-01-26T01:55:00.000-08:00

forget the old blog. its a new phrase and everything should be new.
im starting new. the old blog is so passe.

so.
everyone is more estatic than i am when they heard that i'll be going to aussie last month or sometime before.
now that im here. its still like.. blah.
nothing has been the same. really.
its always been im coming and i know when im going.
now its im here and i dont know when to go.
im not really homesick. just that i miss talking to my friends.
ah. friends.

i wonder what my school is like.
went there the other day. its pretty awesome.
with bold red and everything. lol. i wonder whats the people is like. im worried actually.
arghhh. i'll start school in a few days. nervousy..

i know im suppose to on pictures and stuff.
i just havent taken any yet.
it'll be on soon. just dont feel gay enough to take any.
snapping pictures is just gay and makes you look like a damn tourist.
so~

walking on sunshine

counting down 7,6,5,4..

Break a twig and smile

i cant breath

pizza pies and holding hands

random thoughts

Valentines. hmmm.

you be the prince and i'll be the princes

S*M*I*L*E

I love u ppl

HAPPY NEW YEAR FRM US ALL

Cousin Bousin

*zap* change

Twilight

purple pair of goggles.

ive got my rock moves

disturbia.

when one day you wake up

play my music all night long

crossing out the days

Tagged by PM

printing hearts

blue is an understatement

Fading Away.

If I just lay here

u make me so hot!

count down still

no i wont break down

BIG exams coming in 2 weeks.

ANOUNCEMENT!!

MTV Asia Awards!!

HAPPIE BIRTHDAY SOOSHI!!

ohwell.

A very belated birthday post for myself.

tale of a sisterhood.

does it mean anything?

They are BAAAACK

squash much.

Smells like chlorine..

how true.

counting the days.

what a life.

Broken

Jinday post below.

angst much?

:(

IM IN LURVE!!

I NEED HELP!!

missing out.

That's New.

Jinday!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CECE!!

going away

MORE BIRTHDAYS!!

I Miss my women

looking for alibrandi.

weird habits

i need more guts

its empty.

mind you??

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOANNE!!!

have you ever?

flies

In the memories of.

5 minutes to midnight

AH-MUSE-ING

The problem is ME

its amazing how we lost ourselves tonight.

CNY much??

aged old snaps

it will be long.

keep bleeding in love

i have a hot math teacher!!!

im seeing red.

stop and stare.

where is everyone!!

farewell snaps

hitting shuttles

starting new.

SMILE

zap change